P- is for Patience

I think many people myself included struggle with patience.
Patience is a skill that is sought after and only attained by an awful lot of diligence and perseverance. I know for myself that this week I really noticed myself struggling with the 'dignity of a person'. The respect each of us deserves by right of our humanity. I work at a day-care as many of you know, and I often tell people who wonder how I do it that my little co-workers are people too. Equal and worthy of my utmost respect and care, they deserve it.

Admittedly that is difficult, sometimes you just want to hurry a long the twenty-minute story about oranges, that so-and-so has been going on about. However--I finally found a solution to the frustration I was feeling, and the impatience that would leap to my tongue.

I would breathe and think to myself--this is a child of God. God knew them before they were born, knew their likes and dislikes, He knew THEM. He breathed life into their soul--God is testing me and teaching me RIGHT now. And I'd make eye-contact with that child-again, at one point I got very emotional while doing this because they looked so earnest and so joyful that I was giving them attention. And I'd read something recently that struck me like a thunderbolt like God was speaking in my ear "I am everywhere--and in everyone". So when I want to rage, or shout, or feel especially impatient or exasperated. I now try to count down from 10 and remember that everyone I meet harbors Jesus in them. And if I wouldn't say, whatever is about to come out of my mouth to, the Lord. Or if I wouldn't act a certain way if it were God. I shouldn't do it to another person. No matter how much they might 'deserve it'.

Not that I don't still struggle with this! It's a hard battle waged every day amongnst my knee-high friends. Although I do find this among the 'Big' people too. On the side I also work at a couple other jobs, one of which is a stagehand position in which I work with interesting people from all over the globe at different places and stages in their life.

One struggle God put on my plate this week. Was a continual struggle with the patience and dignity this time not with a child but with an adult. Which is far harder, I was working with an elderly man who wasn't all there.

It was hard not to get frustrated when he'd say things that didn't make sense, or did something on set incorrectly or told you a really long story that didn't make sense--or kept back talking you. And the rest of my crew were griping and complaining about him. Walking away abruptly in the middle of his stories or pulling out their cellphones so as to ignore him. I couldn't bring myself to do this--I felt guilty and so ashamed at my frustration and anger. I offered all of it up to God because again, the moment I made eye-contact with this elderly man. All I could see was the loneliness the--I just need someone to listen. My heart broke a little bit. I felt pulled by God to listen, it seriously felt as though God were whispering in my ear. "Look at me, this is the face of Jesus, I am here too."

I was just struck, I couldn't look away or be knowingly rude to this man. And I challenge my readers if you're out their to try that this week. To look at the faces of everyone you meet and to remember that they are children of God and that Jesus resides in them too. You'll see a difference in the way you treat them, I guarantee it.

"For to love another person, is to see the face of God" - Les Miserables
"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" - Mathew 5:5 (The Beatitudes)

We must not be defined by our deficits

     I am one of those people that ‘used’ to hate math. Who hears the phrase so often abused in classrooms “You’ll use this every day—Math is everywhere”. And I laugh—or used to.

   Until I realized, they’re right.

   This took years—twelve in fact, before this concept would really sink in.

    I was diagnosed in the second grade with a pretty severe form of a learning disability known in layman’s terms as ‘dyscalculia’. This affects everything from my spatial reasoning skills, simple mathematics, telling time, estimating distances, to the proper usages of grammar.
    And I said I don’t use math every day. Oh how I lied to myself when I said those words. I let my ‘disability’ consume me. Define me, they (parents,teachers, coaches, mentors) said “Ya’ know Kaitlyn, you’re bad at math”.

   And I believed them—every time. How could I not? My peers were racing ahead of me they had no problem multiplying multi-digit numbers and here I was struggling with 7 X 4. I knew I didn’t get it, so I agreed. I internalized that I was ‘bad’ at math—and this feeling like I was never going to get better. So why should I try?
     I’ve not quite come full circle but I’m training to become an educator, I am in college and I am appalled at myself  first and foremost, and in some ways I am also frustrated by my previous teachers, for not having any one, that helped me break that ‘mold’. A mold I built for myself that I’m ‘bad’ at this so why should I care? Why should I try?

    Why should I try?! What an awful way look at my own education. I can now at least after much reflection, answer myself.

 You should try because;

1.      1.  It’s embarrassing to not be able to read an analog clock quickly.

2.      2. You go out of your way to avoid any situation involving math—you let fear dominate you.

3.     3.  You are going to stand in front of a classroom teaching a subject you LOVE, but other students may be struggling with …the same way you struggled with math. And you HAVE to reach them.

4.      4. You should try because, math can be fun. And I do use it every day.

I use it when I:

1.      Read a clock

2.      Estimate how long it takes to get to work, with multiple variables including—traffic, whether or not I’ll need to unbury my car from snow, and sleeping in as much as I really want to.

3.      Want to sing a song—and need to read music.

4.      Whenever I write anything—language is math, grammar is just another equation.

5.      Need to bake cookies for the family Christmas party, and realize I need to double the recipe.

6.      When at the daycare I measure out exactly how much medicine to give a crying baby, or how much formula they’ve consumed.

7.      My actual real life finances. My income versus my spending, how am I saving money?

    Why should I try? I know that I should try for every issue I’ve listed above. I also know that the saying ‘easier said, than done’ is much more applicable.

       To those out there that struggle with something—truly struggle. You know what I’m talking about, that gnawing fear when your presented with something you’re ‘bad’ at, know you have to figure it out because either an entire class is waiting on your response, or a test is coming up and you need to prove that this material matters. And it’s a war every time, you have to re-hash old issues, you have to wade through old mistakes before you can even pick up your pencil. You are filled in that moment, with doubt, with fear, with anxiety, with anger—and this hopelessness, and more than that—in my case at least, this apathy. That is an awful lot of baggage a student is bringing behind them, when you give what I call ‘oral pop-quizzes’. Where you randomly, or not so randomly call on students to give answers to seemingly ‘easy’ questions. As an educator we need to be aware that those ‘pop-quizzes’ may not be all that they’re cracked up to be.

Back to the matter at hand—that student is always wondering ‘why should I care?’ When their least favorite subject comes up, we need to notice this.

    Because ‘why should I care?” is a valid question when we apply it to perhaps, more specialized problems and answers. Adiabatic’s for example is an important formula and equation for Geo-scientists to know. Your average person, off the street? Not so much.

And yet I went through 12 years of education believing that because, I was bad at math I shouldn’t even try. It wasn’t going to help me in life, to learn it so -why should I bother?

     To me this says more about the current way we look at education. We focus so much on not only student’s deficits, but also these out of context situations that simply aren’t relatable.

Great educators transcend that, they make it apparent why  “Fences” or “Things Fall Apart” or “Antigone” are still great literary pieces and devices, why and where the quadratic equation is actually relevant in your daily lives outside of school, in addition to doing your own taxes or balancing a checkbook.

Relevancy is an issue I have with education—a lot of the time I feel it’s done poorly. Students don’t buy ‘corny’ real world examples. They do, I think acknowledge REAL ‘real life’ situations. Such as why “Things Fall Apart”, is still a relevant novel even though it’s set during colonial period Africa—because it’s a story of the loss of culture, of language, of the familiar. It is the downfall of a father; it has these elements that can reach everyone.  

   That’s what good education is. Knowledge, Relevancy and Applicability.

     That’s why it took me 12 years to really understand why I was bad at math. I am bad at math not because of my disability—but despite of it. I am bad at math because I didn’t push myself hard enough. That is a harder pill to swallow.

    I can’t blame my ‘dyscalculia’ when I know deep down the real root was my inability to try—because I didn’t see the relevancy behind it.

     I can say now that at least I understand how I can do better, how I can push myself to not let my predisposition weigh me down. I can also say that I’ve learned something invaluable about what will make me a better educator.

      Knowing that students will struggle—for lots of reasons. One of the main ones is relevancy, after 12 years of struggle—and with a lifetime ahead of me. I hope I don’t forget that lesson.

      My inability is the greatest tool at my disposal my perseverance what will make me successful. Our weakest points must also be where we draw strength.

        I can only pray, that God will give me the ability to share that with others, to share with students that I understand ‘struggle (s)’ but we cannot let ourselves be defined by them. We are more than our greatest weaknesses.

Praise for the deserving

     Happy Humpday everyone! I hope your Wednesday's were all wonderful. I'm prepping like crazy for Valentines day, I'll post about my frugal and beautiful cards and gifts coming up in one of the next few posts along with some stuff for those of you going into--or already in college. Now--in the words of Monty Python, it's time for something completely different.

     I'd like to take this moment to share with all of you the beautiful work of a friend of mine. I'm completely enraptured by this song and her rendition of it. "Peter" covered by Olivia in the video originally by Daughter.

    The lyrics are below, and i'm just hooked. I can't say enough good things about Olivia's unique voice nor the way I think she just completely captures the meaning of this song for me. It's eerie, sorrowful, with this edge to it, -shivers- gives me chills. {Every. single. time.} If you like this and want to hear more follow the youtube video, on to her page.

"Peter, can I go back home?
I flew here under false pretense
I thought it would be fun
But the lost boys have all moved away
And one of them's locked up
I know you think you're still a child
But I couldn't give a f**** (Changed in this version)
You're twenty-one

Oh Peter,
I can dream no more
I've been chasing all of yours
That I've forgotten what it was that I wanted
That I want

No I won't be your doll
So please don't you ask me to
You see that I don't look so good in yellow
Like other dolls they do
Like other dolls they do

Oh Peter
I am not naïve
I see the way you look at her
You don't do that for me
Oh it must be love
And we both know it's not with us

No I won't be your doll
So please don't you ask me to
You see that I don't look so good in yellow
Like other dolls they do
Like other dolls they do

Oh Peter
He walks beside the lake
While I lie beside an empty space
Waiting for the sirens
Just waiting for the sirens

No I won't be your doll
So please don't you ask me to
I won't shut my little painted face
Like all your other dolls they do
Like all your other dolls they do
They do"

The importance of washing our hands

I think most of this goes with out saying, but if you wanted a really simple easy way to explain it to children or for a reminder. This is what I'm putting out to the ole' internet.

On this note, if you really wanna be healthy as a teacher- I can't tell you how much it means for me, for you to teach your children to wash their hands properly. The informative picture below is a great tool and covers the basics. It even includes songs to sing and times when we should wash our hands.

A little sickly, a little green--and a whole lot of under the weather!

 This ladies and gentlemen is how I feel today. I missed my first two lectures this morning, because the thought of leaving my bed, made me nauseous beyond all measure. What made me more upset was how I got sick--because it was absolutely preventable.

I work sometimes at a daycare, this involves lots of children (A- DUH) ...and little hands....and germs. SO MANY GERMS. I love what I do though so it's okay--until things like this happen. Then I get a little frustrated, because I did everything right. I washed my hands, and all of my little children's hands. We (the other teachers and I) Lysoled, we Cloroxed. The problem is- we can't fix stupid.
                                                                    
Thanks to that, when I arrived for my shift yesterday I was updated by some other staffers that two kids were out with Pink-Eye like symptoms. YAY!

Thus we all had to be on 'red alert' and really crack down on face touching today--I'm good with that anyway. My little lovelies need to learn to keep fingers out of noses some time. However, just after lunch, the mother of the young, allegedly pink-eyed, duo calls. "Yes, I took them to see the doctor. He thinks its just a cold and not pink eye. I'm going to bring them back".

This is where I get angry. Not only is it more time consuming to drive to pick up your kids, take them to the doctor and then drive them back to daycare, to leave to go to work, to only come back again at the end of the day. While they may not have pink eye, they both have colds! They're still sick! And miserable one look at your two-year old as he came through our door told me, mom. I know life is busy and I know you probably didn't want to have to miss work ---and as I don't have children who am I to judge you and your hectic life. I can't---I can complain however when you make my work situation risky. Not only do I have a cold now--I can almost guarantee some of the younger more vulnerable children will too.

And that could have been prevented.

                                                                           But "you can't fix stupid" -Ron White

Sausage filled Unicorn Pinatas, and other hijinks

My brother Kyle:
Is a really eccentric person--it's the reason I love him.

I also love him because he does strange but kind things for other peoples birthdays. The story goes that a couple of people he's friends with joked about having a pinata filled with sausages, bacon, and beef.

This was taken very seriously, and so this is how I receive a text message from my brother reading something like " it rained sausages". Which is a concerning text message to receive for varying reasons.

He then proceeds to tell me that his friend Tyler and he for a friends birthday purchased a unicorn pinata like the one above.
It was then stuffed through its nether regions(a funny picture I wish I had)
with cooked smoke sausage. Let those images of sausage goodness seep in.
I only wish the raining bacon scenario could have happened. The hilarity of beating a unicorn pinata with a bat and sausages falling however, can't be beat . SO this is a post to remind you that pinatas can be filled with many things besides candy and glitter. Choose wisely?

It turns out, I'd actually be okay with the raining bacon scenario. I mean yum. What could be better than a pinata that rains bacon. All dogs every where would love us even more. Although
it sucks when hot dogs hit you in the face, must be just like hitting this pinata.

Downton Abbey--20th century drama and time waster extraordinaire

And the picture above basically sums up how I feel about Dowton, plus it's hilarious. I look forward to so few things. Luckily, one of them is every Sunday when Dowton airs, and HOORAY it's in a new season. Good things and dramatic things are on their way, how will  Edith deal with a husband to be in Germany, GASP could Thomas be nice?! What will happen after the rape-scandal with Anna and the aforementioned Bates.
It's all very riveting, I hope you tune in. If you're like me the dresses are also a major component. Feature this piece de resistance:

Yes those are pantaloons, Sybil (may her fictional soul rest in peace) is a modern woman and she wears pants! Pretty pants, pants that vaguely remind you of MC' Hammers "Can't touch this".  I'm not getting paid for this I swear, I am just shamelessly plugging for something I believe in, in this case it's a great BBC show. Let's all toast to Masterpiece Classics!
If you need a legitimate reason beside, clothes, drama, and association with the BBC let me enter here the ever important writing. It doesn't get better than this. Let us feature in this moment all of the lovely and hilarious one liners Maggie Smith gets on a regular basis on this show.

And with that I say tune in it's 9:00pm, every Sunday on PBS, go with my blessing.

Idaho potatoes and Hawaiian pineapples

 Sometimes I’m honestly amazed by my peers. Really I am, it’s like we’ve been given a license to be stupid. I mean that sometimes I overhear conversations on the bus and my heart really hurts. That isn’t very nice—it’s also true. I just don’t understand what kind of world lets young men and women make it all the way to college without some very basic education. For instance how to boil water, what states are which (and also very basic what they may be known for), who the president is, what the bill of rights has to say, or how to apply for a job.

I think as a social studies major and geography minor it’s the second one that bothers me the most. Seriously—you don’t know where Hawaii is? Or what they’re known for? Check yourself. Right now, feel ashamed. Honestly. Go to the cafeteria or into your moms pantry and pull out a dole fruit cup. That pineapple is something Hawaii is known for. ALSO HAWAII is not part of the ‘continental’ U.S. okay; it’s in the Pacific Ocean. That’s the one that touches California, am I making any headway here?

I’m not gonna ask you to name the state capitals guys but …please--please know roughly where states are and one thing there known for. Please as a human being, I’m begging you. Also so you don’t die and you have a skill set learn to boil water. And no you don’t need to have ‘hot’ water from the tap to do this. No joke, I’ve had people complain/ be confused by this before. “But how can I boil water, if the tap only runs cold?” (insert here a picture of me slamming my palm into my face HARD).

Knowledge is a powerful thing.

KC

The Beginnings-Geeze that's a dull title

     To an audience who may never go back far enough in my ‘archives’ list to find this particular post,

Hello, I’m KC and, everything you are about to read should not be attempted. Just kidding, please if something I write inspires you and, it’s not jumping- off- a- cliff, kinda crazy go for it! I am writing these posts only so that I can express myself in the only way I know how- writing. My apologies as I may be atrocious at it. I will still try, I have always loved to read and to write and to follow others in this manner. My end goal is probably to write a book—it’s a dream that I have harbored in my heart since 9^th grade English.

My niche here in the blogging community is probably that I am a not a mother or an outrageous political guru, or some sort of foodie (am I the only one who thinks these are the only three types of blogs out there?). In any event, I am a college student that isn’t in a sorority nor completely obsessed with fashion. However please don’t take that to mean ya’ know that I sit around in overalls all day or don’t bathe or something—that’s gross ya’ll.

My career path is currently set to ‘Teach or Bust’ setting, and I don’t envision that ever changing. I know some will probably see my grammar and be horrified that I will ever be near their children. I apologize it is something I am continuously working towards, I am not perfect. It’s a quirk—an idiosyncrasy I have…okay among many. I am sure with time I will share these with you—nameless internet. I am also sure that I will offend some of you, I am sorry.

I’m a happily converted Catholic and a strong supporter of the church and of its teachings. That’s okay—YOU don’t have to be in fact, I like it that way. If YOU nameless audiences oppose me you give me more reasons to think hard and strengthen my faith, so in a manner, bring it on. I hope someday to share my faith journey with you, I also hope I can share with you the daily happenings of my life, and someday my family’s life.

            I know this isn’t a fascinating entry, the first ones never are they’re like the first couple pages of directions to games people only glance over them, or the “about” pages on websites, “Oh? She went to XYZ college? Interesting…” (except it’s not that’s just a thing people say).

If you’ve made it through this, thank you. I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Regards,
(Not sure how to end a blog post so I opted for letter format)

 KC